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Why a Slave Journal?

posted Dec 12, 2011, 8:52 PM by Mr. M   [ updated Dec 12, 2011, 8:52 PM ]


by Mr.M


She approached me in glory, and presented to me the journal I gave to her when our journey together began. It contained all manner of thoughts and desires, but more than anything else, it was an essence…an essence, of us.  


Some among us in the BDSM scene enjoy the presentation of journals to those who would submit. I was asked recently the simple question: Why? What is the appeal of having ideas written down when one can act? I could answer simply “because I enjoy it,” but the answer is so much more.


A submissive’s or slave’s journal is a tangible representation of the relationship. Let us never forget that what is written down transcends space and time, allowing communication to move beyond ourselves. In the writing of their journal, the slave challenges the limitations of 4 dimensions with a record of what is, and what might be. It is a holy tablet, transcribed with their desires and fears, with all that makes them the incredible creature that they are and might be, and coalesces it with conviction to be consumed by another.


The reality of domination and submission like many things is a twin edged sword, it can be used for abuse or glory. One of the greatest gifts of the journal is the presence of reflection. After a scene is done; perhaps a minute, perhaps a month; a person can reflect upon their feelings during that scene. They can remark with the candor of the well thought out, and without the anxiety of the immediacy of conversation. It allows for a deeper, often more honest, and certainly more clear communication. And communication is the root of strong relationships. A properly understood slave journal should be written without fear of reprisal for its contents. It also should endeavor never to be used simply to provoke. The journal is a vessel for what a person may have trouble saying in person, a royal messenger, the Hermes of BDSM. Using a journal allows the uncomfortable to surface, the endearing to be remembered, and the delicious to be savored.


Make no mistake that when we write we are wrapping our thoughts in symbols for others. Thus the journal becomes a gift, perhaps THE gift, the gift of your thoughts. Can there be anything more intimate? Our thoughts are what differentiate us from one another. The gift of one’s thoughts is the gift of one’s self. In the form of a journal we can do this definitively. Let those of us who would receive be worthy. To take the thoughts of another as our property is to bear witness to their soul. As tops we owe this trust our deepest sense of honor, as we take their journals we must understand the vulnerability that is being presented with it. And the beauty that may exist between us because of it.


In spiritual traditions throughout the world there are sacred objects. These fetishes (appropriate) are presented as representations of deities, to sanctify, to mark occasion, to ask for assistance, to thank for blessings, and all manner of other reasons. And all of these can exist within the slave’s journal. It is a holy thing, presented by one in power and held in trust for the good of all. With this in mind I defy any to treat it casually.


Another element present in most ritual is the idea of Sacred Space; whether this be church or standing stones, grove or temple; the idea is that by moving into a designated place of worship we modify our actions and ready ourselves to be exposed to something greater. A slave’s journal can uniquely do this by creating its own sacred space, a sacred mental space. It pushes both the writer and the reader into a place wherein we are bound for the duration of its use for its purpose. By allowing this intermediary into our relationship, we allow ourselves a measure of objectivity that will likely allow us a greater understanding.


This then is the philosophical benefit to the journal, but there is also definitively a more tangible side:


The slave journal allows for scenes when partners cannot be together. Whether it be the writing of fantasies, or the results of instructions. A journal can facilitate the presence of partner without their physical being. Though we all might wish we were independently wealthy, living in a castle with a built in dungeon…In the real world many of us have work lives, families or perhaps are connecting with that special someone you finally found who shares your unique kinks that is miles and miles away. The journal lets you be there when you aren’t. It keeps the facts of reality from necessarily being a bar to intimacy and interaction. Even a simple “I love you” or “I really wanted to kneel before you this morning” when found written can touch the heart and strengthen the bond between two individuals.


The journal also provides possibilities for play when you are there. Though I have mentioned it, allow me to state explicitly that sharing your fantasies with your lover will nearly always bring you closer. Having a place wherein those fantasies can be displayed, contemplated, and perhaps enacted when you least expect it; can be a glorious spur for nearly anyone. In addition there are the possibilities of assignments that bring you closer or simply excite your partner. One does not need to be a brilliant writer to stir the hearts or loins of their chosen. One must simply write with intent and conviction, and trust to the feelings between you to carry what perhaps you have difficulty expressing. I have known people who wrote glorious prose that meant little, and people who wrote haltingly with poor spelling who stroked the very core of my soul.


The difference between writing and talking is considered versus improvisational communication. Writing allows us to find the words we needed the first time rather than wishing we had later.


So; Why a Slave Journal?

Because I enjoy it.